Things I've Learned

"American Psycho", the "controversial in the 1980's" book by Bret Easton Ellis, is banned in the state of Queensland from being sold at bookshops. You can request the book shop orders it in for you, but you won't find it in his section if you go to a book shop. Same goes for the library too. It won't be there...I'm not sure if this applies to the rest of the country.

Books are also, more expensive in Australia it seems than they are in the UK. But then you're more likely to get knifed by a teenager in the UK, or shot, so it's swings and roundabouts.

The "Liberal" Party Of Australia is actually the party that is akin to the Conservative Party of the UK, in the sense that their politics are right wing. Slightly weird considering the definition of the word 'liberal', but then one entry in the dictionary employs 'catholic' as a definition, so I guess it could be applied in the following contexts.

"John Howard made arrangements for the permanent exclusion of the Aboriginal people from Australian society, by liberally supplying them with more booze than they already have access to"

"Catholic Priests don't like to exclude any child from their sermons, so they liberally molest them all"

Crossing the street when either not at a designated crossing area, or when the light is on green, will get you a $35 dollar on the spot fine from 'the pigs'...I've not got one...

At 3am in Brisbane and other areas of Queensland, if you're not in a bar or club (if you know me well, you will know that I'll never be in a club), "Lock Out" comes into effect. Which means that you have to go home and will be ushered out of the city by the Police. As public transport stops at about 23:00pm, you have to take a taxi. So imagine how awesome standing in line with a load of drunken idiots is, whilst they're trying to vent their frustration because they can't get any more booze. Seriously guys, it's a hell of a lot of fun (try saying that in some type of Seinfeld-esque sarcasm). Especially the level of racist remarks you hear towards taxi drivers that aren't australian...ahhh progression...

I can take wicked pictures of food I've made...this was of a cheese-less pizza...

















xx