The month of November over in Australia brings about much hilarity in the form of 'Movember' (it's November, but with a letter 'M'...). What this means is is that the guys get to grow a moustache (it's Movember but without the letters 'ustache') and exude an abnormal amount of confidence with regards to personal appearance. If you had a moustache in september, october, or any of the other months, you would be ridiculed, called 'a 70s pornstar' (they ALL HAD MOUSTACHES REMEMBER...PLEASE...), a pedophile, or assumed were gay. Initially, with regards to the latter example, when I first heard the term 'movember', I assumed it was a chance for the rest of the country to embrace, on a national level a week long version of Sydney's Mardi Gras. I was however, quite wrong, but instead found out it was a chance for all the men in australia to bond and 'become one' in a unified joke of follicle frolicking (ere...try saying that when you're PISSED, yeah lads???).Unless you're massively extroverted, it's often quite tricky as a guy, to pluck up the confidence to wear and look exactly how you'd like, so you often find yourself just blending in and sticking to firm favourites. If you do make a concerted effort, chances are a tonne other guys are dressed like you because they've visited high street stores too, so it nullifies your attempt.
The brilliance of this exercise in social masculine solidarity, is that the difference in confidence is extremely noticeable at the beginning and end of the months. Early on, it's all new and everyone is talking about moustaches and laughter is all around, kind of like that song by the Troggs, but laughs instead of love. People have sculpted various shapes and styles and there is a cheeky smirk to the face of men walking the streets. If you look at someone with a moustache, chances are, they'll piss themselves laughing and shake their head as if to say 'yeah, I am crazy, maybe if I wasn't on my way to work, we could have a chat, a froth based coffee and laugh about it all'. But as it's nearing december, the joke, unsurprisingly, has quickly worn off. Those that haven't shaved their moustache off and are persevering until the end, look edgy, have some sort of weird, sick-faced smile and are now lacking in confidence. A far cry from the top of the world feeling they felt at the beginning. But I think we all know what the problem with being on top of the world is...there's much further to fall...let's let that sink in, cause that is some deep shit. I could almost be some sort of zen monk if I hadn't have sworn...damn my street-based, gutter vernacular!
*I have no idea who the guy above is, but his facial expression kind of says it all with regards to the correlation between social expectations, desire and length of time of joke*
The point however, is actually to raise awareness for men's health and if you have a moustache for the whole month, you're supposed to get sponsored for it. If you sign up, then you're officially called 'a Mo Bro' (I'm still not 100% certain that this doesn't have anything to do with mardi gras) and any money you raise will go towards battling prostate & testicular cancer and male depression. All good causes, but I think the latter cause has perhaps been heightened by the end of the event feeling people seem to be suffering from. Ah well, at least they're investing now.
I suggested 'Heptember' (it's september with an 'H') to the health authorities over here, but I haven't heard back. I can only assume it's because there's nothing hilariously visual that could be achieved.
Getting up at 5.30 in the morning to watch Liverpool play (and beat Porto 4-1) is still odd.
Gareth
xx
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