Lightning Doesn't Strike Twice

...but a camera does...I mean can, take pictures of lightning...twice, if you're good...and quick...and know how to use a camera...even though I only took one picture of some lightning...once...

It's still very stormy in the evenings here at the moment, so I've been sitting on the veranda watching the skies open (figuratively). I took this picture the other night. I don't want to compare myself to David Bailey, but I do like to eat food and drink water and sleep to stay alive like he's famous for doing, but that's just me.

If you look closely, want to believe it enough, or are just looking for answers that might explain why we're here and give us hope, kind of like when people think they see the face of jesus on a piece of kleenex they've just used to de-grease some food, (after all, the first syllable of jesus does rhyme with the word "grease"...coincidence???), or the "devils face" was in the smoke bellowing from the World Trade Centre, then take a look at the clouds in the photo I took. I think you can quite clearly see the face of a very unhappy skeleton. Which leads me to this only one possible, irrefutable conclusion...The dead are about to rise up and bring the apocalypse. Sorry to break it to you like this guys, but this is a clear cut sign if I ever I did see one. It also goes to show that signs are doing their jobs, because if you don't see a sign, something bad happens, and this usually means the end of the world, which unfortunately for us, has happened quite lot in 'recent memory'. It gets quite exasperating don't you think...I mean, when on earth will the beginning of the end of the world just stop?!

'End Of The World' is actually an anagram of 'Dethroned Wolf'. Make of it what you will...but in Greek Mythology, sorry...Greek Fact, Lycaon (who was the first King of Arcadia) was actually punished by Zeus for serving him human flesh. So Zeus, a tad on the non-chuffed side, turned Lycaon into a 'Wolf'. Zeus, was not only King of the Gods, but also the God of Sky & Thunder, whose symbol was represented in the form of a Lightning bolt...what caused the skeleton face to appear! Lightning. Who would traditionally sit on a throne? A King. What was Lycaon? A King, who was turned into a wolf thus 'dethroning' him. Conclusion, a 'Dethroned Wolf', which is, as was stated, an anagram for the 'End Of The World'. However, there are a few more signs to consider...

When decoding signs (thankfully the various governing bodies throughout the world concerned with Traffic rules and regulations don't operate in this manner) you often look for a clue or a metaphorical key, that you can 'unlock' the hidden message with. Hold onto your hats guys, because shit just got real. In this instance, the hidden message is the face of a skeleton looking non-plussed (no, it's 100% definitely not a chance cloud formation back lit by the lightning, don't even think that guys yeah!??). What are we looking for? A key!...maybe, a SKELETON KEY...0k...let's unpack this for a second. What do skeleton keys unlock? EVERYTHING!

To sum up. This photo represents a sign that will soon 'unlock' the mysteries of the world, but unfortunately, because it's also the end of the world, we might not get chance to learn the reasoning behind our existence, which I think, is perhaps why the skeletons face is non-plussed. Also it's Halloween tomorrow and skeletons are a familiar (skin-less) face at this pagan celebration of sweets and tricks, so something might present itself to us then perhaps? If none of the above does happen, then we can just put it down to a test, you know, like the Dinosaurs.

Anyway, apart from the storms and the imminent apocalypse, the weather has been mainly over 30 degrees this past week, which even for my mediterranean skin type, is proving quite tricky to adjust to at the moment. Plus, because Brisbane has a sub-tropical climate, it's dead humid, so sweating has become a favourite past-time of many a Queenslander and now, me. I'll leave you with this to ponder on though...have you ever heard of a sweating skeleton? No, because the phrase 'dry as a bone' exists. And something that survives time, means fact. Thus fact divided by survival of time equals non sweating skeleton face in a cloud that wasn't caused by lightning. Phew...I'm glad we cleared that up.

xx

Something clever & witty about storms...and being calm...

I wrote this first line a few times because I wasn't sure how to begin the beginning of this first post. The fact I've not deleted it and I'm still writing suggests I've opted for for the more 'narrated' approach, an almost casual inner monologue that is no longer a 'silent word companion' to myself, but one that I can now share with people reading this...either that or I'm masquerading as a wannabe journalist that just "can't understand why Pitchfork won't accept my submissions".

I moved to Brisbane, Australia on the 27/09/07 and subsequently came down with one of the worst flu's I've had in recent memory (the line 'recent memory' I feel gives the impression that we're dealing with a diary of some kind written by an explorer whose days have become months have become years. I'm going with a nautical themed explorer, due to the amount of sea I've had to cross to get here. Admittedly it was pre-determined and I hopped on a plane as opposed to a boat, but regardless of this, hopefully I'll be able to relate it all back to 'water' and 'river', like the photo above shows evidence of, at some point later in the post...I realise I've crossed as much land, but that doesn't really work with the imagery of 'aqua based stuff').

Back to the flu. I'm pretty much over it now and my body clock has been able to correct itself to Eastern Standard Time so I'm now functioning more normally. The one plus side of not being able to sleep until 6 in the morning meant that I was able to get up at 4.30 on the 4th October to watch Liverpool play some of the worst football I've seen them play in 'recent memory' and subsequently lose 0-1 to Marseille. Actually, why was that a good thing...(that's rhetorical).

Brisbane is a lovely city. It's pretty small, so it's a great change after having spent 8 years in London (beep beep, mind the gap, can you spare 5p, how did you not know she was a man). Whereas the River Thames 'divides' London, the Brisbane River 'connects' the city. I think there is a metaphor loosely based around how friendly the cities are that I could use, but instead I'll just opt for the phrase 'you do the maths'...not actual maths though.

There is a ferry called the City Cat that you can catch and get dropped off at various points. We all know how buses or public transport in general works don't we yeah? Well imagine a water based version of a bus, or a water based version of a plane, whichever works for you, but imagine people getting on, paying money, then getting off at the stop they so desire. I gave a woman $2 (about 80p UK money) the other day because she didn't have change for the ferry and the guy wouldn't accept her $50 note and was about to make her leave the ferry. She said I was 'an angel', I said 'don't worry about it, although I must point out that angels are without genetalia so if you're implying I'm some sort of eunuch, then that's the last time I'm giving you $2'. She laughed, we laughed, probably for a little bit too long if truth be told, so I went and stood at the front of the ferry at the very tip of the boat and pondered this whilst not laughing. But instead listening to the album 'Enter' by 'Russian Circles' and pretended for a second that maybe I was an angel, but then remembered I was an atheist, so I imagined the word 'SCIENCE' flashing in front of my eyes just because.

Anyway, there have been storm warnings these past few days, but nothing massive. To me it just seems like heavy rain. It certainly can't be compared to the storms that my brother and the
Strom's have endured on the east coast of the US these past few years. There has been some pretty cool lightning though, especially last night. (I didn't take this photo by the way).

So that's my first 2 weeks pretty much. A bit uneventful due to the flu, but I have grown a sweet beard which has been exciting I guess. Plus I did see Pelican play live the other day, who were amazing as always.

Before I forget, this diary is called 'Dead Scenes' because I'm documenting events that have happened, so subsequently don't exist anymore other than in memory, although I realise it sounds a little macabre. I also realise that this is just a standard practice of documentation and that it's actually pretty tricky to document events that haven't happend so everything is naturally going to be in the past as it were. Also, it's in black because apparently, a black background is more environmentally sound on a page than a white one...something to do with kilowatt hours. Speaking of which, the average lightning bolt contains 250 kilowatt hours. So that's 1000 just in that photo above from the other night. What this means? I have no idea...what we can learn from it? Again, nothing much other than I had to use google to find this out and the link and information about black backgrounds.

xx