A few things...I saw Wilco at a venue called the Tivoli over here on the 19th March. I've seen them loads of times before, but this was special because of the size of the venue, as it was the smallest place I've seen them play. The term 'intimate gig' definitely rang true that night, and as a bit of a Wilco geek, I saw them play the best version ever of 'Shot In The Arm'...also, as if they couldn't get any more perfect, I noticed on their UK merch site, they have a scarf that it possibly the best scarf in the world, that I intend to buy when I get home. If you don't get the reference after you've clicked on the link, then I will feel sad and almost as if you don't know me as a person (oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I'm ripped to hell on red wine, which is why this may make for an interesting read. And by interesting, I mean that I was lying when I said it'd consist mainly of photos...).
Anyway, the gig was amazing...but I didn't take my camera, so no photos. But it was possibly the only venue I've ever been to that didn't transfer bottled beer into a plastic cup. Why? Because they rightly assume that you're an adult and not some jumped up fluorescent frat boy that wants to spike girls drinks, who then recognises, for a split second, the self disgust in himself, proceeds to chuck the bottle at the band or someone in the audience more evolved than himself. So here's to the Tivoli...one of the best venues I've ever been to, and that's ME saying that...they will be so proud...
Because there is no consistency in the retarded folklore pastime that is christianity, this year, they couldn't decide on 'when Easter was', so it was actually earlier than normal. It's weird that nobody knew when Christ was crucified...(hold on, let me quickly change into my Fox TV american sit com sarcastic character clothes who shouts a lot)...oh, actually it's not, BECAUSE IT NEVER HAPPENED...sigh...anyway...
We (and by 'we' I mean, me, Nina and our good friends Rosie and Kevin) went to Fraser Island, which as we all know, is the largest sand island in the world. You're only allowed on there with a 4 wheel drive, so we hired one. The only problem was, was that the backward car hire company rules, stipulated that 'Fraser Island' was one of the places it wasn't allowed to be taken. In fact, this 4 wheel drive we hired, wasn't actually insured to be taken off road at all. That's like hiring cooking utensils from a catering company, only to be told that they're only supposed to be used for decoration and staring at your upside down reflection in. Twats...anyway, we took it on there, but it was a heart in mouth moment for a lot of the journeys we made, even more so when we hit something that practically tore the protective undercarriage off the vehicle. Luckily, Kevin is completely rad and has a variety of knives and tools strapped to his person, so managed to fix it. Regardless, we had a fantastic time and managed to camp away from all the tourists both nights, so it felt like we had the place to ourselves.
Camp on the first night
View from some sand. Please note, that this is now a week later than when I originally started this post, so am sober, so it might not read like the musings of wino.
This picture is called 'Am I alone? Are we alone?..Scone' (which is weird, cos I pronounce the last word so it rhymes with 'gone')...maybe it will...
Lake Birrabeen
Fraser Island is the only place on earth where Dingos are still 100% pure. They are dangerous to humans, but only if you give them a chinese burn and they get miffed. They are very sneaky and have learned to open the lids off 'cool boxes' and will do anything to get food (I blame television and the sugar addiction that is attributed to a westernised fast food diet. American culture has a lot to answer for, because they used to be much thinner and have such cleaner, less greasy skin...). And it was for this reason alone, I slept with a spade in my tent, just in case I needed to whack one on the nose, or dig for treasure.
Planes use the beach to land and take off on, but if I may be so wry and make an observation that someone on a mediocre current affairs panel show would make, I'd imagine the terminal at Fraser Island is probably a lot more efficient than HEATHROW TERMINAL 5...WHACKITY SCHMACKITY DO...
This is called a Saint Andrews Cross...that's it...
As we were driving back to catch the ferry back across to the mainland, we saw some people a little too close to a Dingo being a bit foolish, as they've been known to attack. Anyway, I got out of the car (a decent distance away), but then they got back in their car and it started heading towards me.
Dingo looking well miffed. Note the rangers in the background. They stopped by it and shot it with a catapult and it ran off into the bushes. Apparently they have to do this to keep up it's natural fear of humans, or at the very least, a natural fear of humans with catapults.
Sailing back to the mainland
We then drove back to Coolum where Nina's mum lives and spent the monday a little further up the coast at Noosa, swimming and mucking about with more rad animals, like this one...
Like with the Dingo, I didn't actually realise how close this Goanna was, due to me trying to focus it properly in the viewfinder of my camera, but it was heading my way and Nina thankfully told me to move. Seriously like, it were like fuckin Jurrasic Park gone fuckin wrong like!
The following weekend we went down to Byron Bay with Kevin and Rosie and stayed with Rosie's parents.
A Water Dragon (ere Gary...why's it on sand then. He he he...you can't handle me can ya, ere pass me that copy of Nuts Magazine)
Kevin with 'Snakeman's Truck'. Lucky for him, after his Snorkeling business fell through, he was at least able to keep his vanity plate and not look silly...
A Brown Snake, thankfully in a box, as it could literally kill your face off
Byron Bay is pretty nice
BBQ at the Gordons
This is actually the only picture of me surfing. You would've thought that this might've been a monumental moment, but no...the others decided to go and get changed whilst Rosie's dad Ray was giving me a lesson. Thankfully Rosie remembered and ran back shooting wildly towards my direction. For the record, I didn't fall off and rode the wave all the way in. I promised I wouldn't let you down England...I promised...
Actually that last sentiment was a lie...
This Huntsman Spider crawled out from the sea...to think, seconds earlier, I'd been in that sea. It could've been me...but it wasn't as I was already out...
The following weekend one of my mates Chris was over for work in Sydney, so I went down for 5 days to hang out with him. Also in Sydney at the same time was another mate Stu, who I surprised. This was organised via telecommunications with his girlfriend Vicky. Thankfully this was for him, a very nice surprise...
It could've done with a bit of a scrub to be honest. As for the hippy doing kicks, he/she jazzed the place up a bit
The best thing to wear on the beach is a shirt and trousers...although I am wearing a hooded top to be fair...
And to think, I have the word 'Harbour' tattooed on my right ankle...which was done 2 years ago. What could this mean?!
Appropriate choice of words 'The Catholic Church', considering 'a recent news'...interesting that the Pope is 'ashamed' yet really only seems to be zipping round the world breathing infallibility wherever he goes. Check out this website to see if abuse is really being stopped. SNAP (that's actually the name of the organisation, not hip speak as in 'oh snap'...)
It seemed good at the time...
We all know the old childrens song 'Check Out Those Fuckin Bats In That Tree'...well this is where it was first sung
If you think that's something, you should've seen the other guy! Sorry, I got black eyes confused with spider webs...
"Wow, whose is that?"
"I have no idea"
"So you took a picture of a person you don't knows boat"
"Yeah...pretty much"
"That's incredible, you've immediately become somebody I admire and aspire to be like. I wish I had photos of other peoples expensive property"
"One day...one day"
And to think I have 'Harbour' tattooed on my...
Where the phrase 'massive cricket' comes from
Chris had a twitch
His favourite game 'Yahtzee' had already been taken, so he had to get a less 'fun' number plate...
And we're done...
xx
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