Dead Scenes

The Next Evolutionary Step...

2009-09-08T22:39:00.009+10:00

I honestly hoped this (please click on link) would be a joke, but sadly it's not. I think the current generation of 'Youths' may not outlive their parents, which is a shame for the folks, but maybe not such a bad thing for the good of the earth and my peace of mind when I'm old and grey.
When you call for help via Facebook over the emergency services I think you've given up your right to legitimate help. You're on your own. The digital world is now your wilderness and you're Christopher Johnson McCandless.

As technology progresses our ability to recognise and process our natural survival instinct seems to regress. We used to navigate the earth using the Sun, now we click on a button and 'where you are' is on your phone in the form of a detailed map, pinpointing your exact location and you wonder aloud how you ever got by without it. In retrospect, it makes me glad my Dad encouraged me to join the Cub Scouts as a child, otherwise I fear my basic navigation skills might be slightly less than desirable. As for those that never experienced the learning structure of Baden Powell's finest, then how you can even get out of your front door each day is an achievement worth celebrating. The sort of celebration people are used to nowadays, alongside being better on Guitar Hero than on an actual guitar. Well done society of mediocre talents, well done.

Although to be consistent with opinions I've just shared, I guess I should be printing this out on a typewriter and distributing door to door. One man's blog post is a latter day man's telegram delivered by horse. I'm sure the recipients of that method were freaking out when it first was used and then complained on parchment using a quill about how 'we used to deliver on foot in our day' and then stuck the ramblings on a tree in the middle of the town. But the point is, they got somewhere, they progressed, they kept their wits.

Please imagine the below being read by Carl Sagan. Obviously he can't as 'he dead', but I think his tones would suit my little short.

"We are here!" she cried desperately, as her gaze, fixed and focused, looked toward the stars. She knew full well that the object of her desire had exploded before our civilisation was even conceived, but she still entertained the idea that there might be a chance that her call might be one day be returned.

"Please find us...". But the Universe failed to respond. It didn't so much as ignore her, it just had absolutely no idea she was even there.

Michelle is...sayin that the urth is well rubbsh 4 nt gettin bck to her. So much 4 alienz. LOLZ

This guys Dad rules

Let me point out that I do recognise the irony in the fact I'm complaining about all this via modern methods of communication.

Gareth
xx

Good Scene Bolivia, Good Scene

2009-08-01T01:50:00.007+10:00

Read here...

x

Dead Scenes

2009-06-25T19:07:00.006+10:00

I've decided to self title this post, because the subject matter is something dear to my heart and we'll only have ourselves to blame when it's too late.

Due to our desire for food and the modern world not being able to control it's gluttony, the ocean is on the brink of a species collapse (please check this link out). Sharks are killed in their millions for their meat, largely their fins which apparently doesn't taste of anything and is only used as a thickener in soups. Sharks are finned alive and thrown back into the waters where they sink and eventually die.

You may not eat shark meat or shark fin soup, but if you eat ocean life of any kind, you're contributing in more ways than you'd ever possibly want to think about or admit, because the need perpetuates the demand. The older I get, the less understanding I'm becoming with matters like this. I don't get it, I really don't. We're happy to view these creatures that have been on this planet longer than we have through glass screens in aquariums and marvel at their size and their beauty, yet when it comes down to it, we'd rather bury our heads in the sand and be able to clink our champagne glasses as we regale in the price per pound of food we're eating, just so we can fit in and aspire to be above the class we're in. Hey ho...

If you get a chance to watch the film Sharkwater, please do. I saw it at the end of 2007 when I was living in Brisbane, but I refrained from posting something because I really don't like stating the obvious (i.e ranting). Today, after seeing the article on the possible extinction of a species I've been fascinated with since a child, I decided I would (rant that is, albeit moderately I hope). It's an incredible, informative and heart-wrenching film. Here's the trailer

Also, check out Sea Shepherd. Captain Paul Watson is an absolute inspiration. He makes me feel humbled by just how absolutely badass he is. Long may he continue to destroy any ocean fishing vessel and prevent whaling at any cost. Fuck the humans. You crossed the line...(wow...).

Nina and me have started jogging. It's early days, but eventually I'd like to compete in a half marathon/marathon of sorts. If I do, I'll be raising money for Sea Shepherd, so get your money ready (realistically you'll have a long time to sort this, so I'll just continue to make periodic donations in the mean time...).

That's it.

x

We're Getting There, Albeit Via Belgium

2009-05-22T00:05:00.011+10:00

A town called Ghent in Belgium has decided that at least one day a week, the whole town will go vegetarian. A massive round of applause to the people of Ghent. Nice one Belgian dudes. You can read the full article here. Their reason is environmental, which is fine, because in turn, this still inevitably leads to less consumption of animals for food. If you couldn't give a crap about animals, but are worried that environmentally, times are getting tougher, then take note. Did you know, that eating 1lb of meat emits the same amount of greenhouses gasses as driving an SUV 40 miles. Read some more interesting environmental/meat based facts here. In fact, watch this trailer for the film 'Meat The Truth' and then try and get a copy of the whole film

If you don't care about the animals or the environment, but you do care about your own health, read some interesting health/meat and dairy consumption facts here, here, here and here. (I'm not for a second suggesting that all people that eat meat are unhealthy by the way). In fact, watch this trailer for the film 'Food Matters' and then try and get a copy of the whole film

I could write for ages on this subject, but I don't want to get 'heavy', because it's something I know I'd find a turn off and plus the majority of the people I care about don't share the same views with regards to not eating meat/veganism as I do. I can just pass on some information that you will hopefully read and at least consider respectfully. I know you will, cos you're rad.

Update: I found this video today and it's dead nice and hippy with the acoustic soundtrack. It's a less intrusive/anger inducing way of getting the point across I think. Check it out.

xx

I Don't Want To Read No More

2009-05-12T22:25:00.020+10:00

The homepage on my computer when I log onto the internet is the Guardian newspaper online. I've been a little perturbed of late as I've been monitoring (how ironic considering I am against ID cards, you literally couldn't make it up!) the section at the bottom of the site, that show what are the most viewed stories of the past 24 hours & the past week.
As you can see by the screen shot I took at lunch, this list is particularly telling as to what 'Liberals, leftists etc' enjoy reading about these days. Or more to the point, enjoy looking at. If you take a look at the most read stories of the past week, you'll see some stories about the Chelsea v Barcelona game, pictures of a Panda breeding centre and how to master festival fashion which is largely a collection of pictures (because seriously girlfriends, we DO NOT want to turn up to a muddy field looking like every other top shop wearing/pop idol audition hopeful do we! Patchouli? With these shoes? You have to be kidding me...).

Regardless, the fact that number 5 in the list is even in the news, is incredibly telling/depressing. The news of a divorce between some overly tanned tits (ahem...not my finest hour, but I'm getting into the spirit of how a mainstream journalist would write) is deemed more interesting than this. Sorry, that is real news...my mistake. Lets try that again. More than this! The Guardian now pays people to write about 'Shelly The Giant Oyster'...wow...

This got me thinking about a recent piece of news I read whereby Rupert Murdoch stated that "The Current days of free internet will soon be over", in that he is going to start charging people to read online versions of the newspapers that he owns. The fact that in Britain this includes The Sun, The News Of The World and The Times, has absolutely no bearing on me as I consider them worthy of being nothing more than fish and chip wrappers, albeit online digital fish and chips...But after my initial sceptical reaction of assuming that this would be Murdoch's way of gaining more control over the internet and censoring its content (start at home) as a way of limiting what the public can find out, well I was still left with that scepticism and belief that 'the upper tier' will inevitably want the internet to be governed in this way, but my frustration lessened towards the concept of paying for the news.

In this argument, the rationale is that you would pay for a printed newspaper, so why not an online version. There is the common assumption that if it exists online, it should therefore be free, and this has spread further than just reading material in that you can chart the demise of the 'Record Industry' from file sharing downloads affecting record sales. Although this isn't such a bad thing. The 'Record Industry' has been putting out shit music for years and wasting money on bands with no longevity, so I can understand largely why the public is tired of paying for mainstream crap. Regardless, if you're savvy enough, manage your band correctly, tour properly, whore yourself out to every shoe, t-shirt and energy drinks company, you can have a good career. Well done. Underground scenes will always exist and occasionally, some of the bands from these subcultures will rise to the top, so it at least breaks the monopoly on manufactured main stream music, which of course is a good thing. But this isn't about music, this is about what we read, or inevitably, what we chose to.

I do recognise the irony in all of this though, in that this blog is pretty much read by less than 10 people, therefore many people either choose not to read the inconsistent ramblings of a 31 year old man, or more realistically, people just don't know it's there to read. If people did know of it's existence then I'm sure the former column of 'choose not to read' will be added to and I'd still be left with the aforementioned 10 people. So thanks guys.

Online American Newspapers such as the New York Times have been charging for content for years, but then there's still no guarantee that the content would be improved or even accurately reported, as John Pilger states in the video below with regards to the NYT. However, I was drawn to an article by David Simon, creator of The Wire (best TV show ever...) who is an ex journalist of many years, and as I am not, I thought it would be better if you read his account of the 'pay for news' discussion. I find it very interesting and if I could guarantee I'd be reading something that I regard as being of worth, then I'd more than likely pay for a subscription. But what is actually 'of worth'. It's subjective to to the individual, which comes back full circle to showing that on this particular day/week, the readers of the Guardian Online deemed 'How Does Microsoft Windows 7 Look' as 'of worth'. At least you may be more prepared for an 'online' virus.

I'm going to finish this post with a video by one of my favourite journalists, John Pilger. He talks about his book 'Freedom Next Time' and the experiences that lead to it being written. He's a veteran journalist and has reported from all corners of the globe. His dissection of the mainstream media is incredibly fascinating and worth paying attention to, plus it's a far more detailed account of this topic than I'll ever be able to give. I'd definitely recommend that any of his books are worth picking up if you are unfamiliar with his writing.

It's interesting though. I've always connected with the saying 'Don't Believe Everything You Read' (religious texts, yeah guys!), in that I would rather report and experience it myself, but this isn't always possible, especially as I can't experience or report on the things I want to read about. Plus, I'm not exactly sure how realistic or plausible it would be for me to turn up in The Middle East with my Canon 450d and turn to the nearest person and say

'Hi guys, I'm here to report on and take some photos of the American/British Military base's that are situated next to the oil pipelines stretching down to the Caspian Basin. I read that the blood of the earth is being secured as quickly as possible, hence all these 'wars', because the majority of supplies peaked in the 70s and what with Saudi Arabia finally stating that their output has dwindled, they're OPEC's biggest exporter don't you know, it's not going to be very long until the general public learn that the lifestyles they're accustomed to might not be that sustainable within the next few decades...phew! Can you show me who the best person to speak to would be so I can just have a wander round and take a few snaps? You'll take me to them? Fantastic! What? I've never put on a blindfold before when riding in a taxi in London, but if you say so. I certainly don't want to insult anyones cultural traditions. Why are you burning my passport? Ahhh it's a religious thing, I totally understand. I'll get a new one from the British Embassy before I leave won't I. What's that? Waterboarding? Oh definitely, I surfed a little when I lived in Australia. Righty ho and off we go"

...so we're left to trust our instincts as to what we ascertain to be believable. We're at the mercy of other peoples words as to whether we choose to decipher them in a way that we regard as palatable. Everyone wants to believe in something, whether it's the belief in a non-belief, the belief that you're not being told the entire truth by the mainstream media, or a belief in the accounts of a person you've never met before, in this instance John Pilger. Maybe you believe that you're so good at Karaoke, that you're an undiscovered singing talent. It's all escapism. Providing it doesn't harm anyone, what does it matter.

I know there have been a lot of links on this blog, but I honestly think, that if you have the time, it'll be worth checking them out. Maybe it won't. In which case, I hope you have a nice day.

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense" - Buddha

xx

Be Scared All The Time!

2009-05-06T08:37:00.011+10:00

Remain scared, if you're not, think about what it's like to be scared and make yourself scared. Whatever you do, you must forget about how economically fucked the majority of the world is and ignore the fact that more of 'our troops' are moving back into Afghanistan to continue the destruction of a nation under the guise of hoping to find a previously CIA funded affiliate in the mountains, oh yeah apparently there's some oil there too, plus the small matter of having the largest opium harvest in the world, who knew...and just focus on this and this only. Focus on it all the time, if you can't focus on it all the time, you're obviously not scared enough, so go back to the first line you read and start again. Remember, this is not a distraction. Why? Because our governments are in control and they assume we wouldn't doubt them. Feel better? If so, read up about how Donald Rumsfeld owns millions of shares in Gilead Science, (the company that developed the drug Tamiflu. I'm sure you've heard quite a lot about this recently. This was also the drug used to 'treat' Avian Flu) about how he used to be the chairman of the board until 2001 and how Gilead is reported to have made between $250 - $500 million from sales of Tamiflu when Bird Flu was that seasons 'must have'...then get scared again and remain scared all the time...sigh...

Incidentally, top searches on google recently have inevitably been 'swine flu', but also 'American Idol' and 'KFC Coupons'. I have a feeling these searches could have some sort of correlation...

xx

Swandive BC

2009-03-12T04:01:00.004+10:00

When I was in Australia, as mentioned in previous posts, I played in a band called Swandive. This is the video of the last gig we did. It easily ranks as one of the top 5 gigs I've ever played in my musical life. The whole night was blast and fuelled with 'punk' exuberance from the start. Literally a minute or so before we played, a guy punched a friend of ours Stu in the face, cue Nick (in a drunken moment of 'this is a great idea' thought process) hurling a pint glass at the the offenders head. Thankfully it missed and just hit the wall. The guy ran out of the club with Nick in tow leaving the rest of us to just look at each other and shrug. It was smoothed over when I imagine the fresh air allowed the realisation to kick in, so Nick returned, still a little pissed off, and enabled us to all play one of the most fun gigs I've ever been involved in. It was all over in 10 minutes too. But then that's sometimes the best way. The proverbial short and sweet. Playing in this band, although it being temporary and consisting of only 4 gigs, made me remember why I love playing music. It was just so much fun and I will be forever thankful to them for letting me be a part. Cheers wicked dudes.

xx

Modern Times

2009-02-25T20:50:00.005+10:00

I recognise the irony of the picture, what with this being a 'blog' and it being a way of me letting you know what I'm up to. However, I do believe this generation of impatient, spoiled, idiot kids, should be forced to live in the woods for a few months of each year of their lives until they learn how to connect to the internet using just wood, berries and kinetic > potential engergy (i.e themselves). If they can't manage that, they should just stay there, become an accurate description of feral, as opposed to a modernised one whose trousers don't fit and learn to appreciate the basics.

Personal evolution is moving quicker than I thought, because I never imagined (I did imagine, but it makes for a more dramatic read), at 31 (my birthday was last sunday...sigh) I'd be saying 'the kids of today don't know shit', or variations of. I thought I would at least be in my 50s. At some point in the future, 18 year old kids with 5 year old kids, will be uttering these exact words, thus setting in motion the 'devolution' of the human and progressing towards a day where a 1 year old child learning to crawl, communicate etc, becomes so impatient in it's ability to acquire basic motor functions and language immediately, that it becomes so bored with itself and it's unexplored surroundings, that it's given up on life already and is thinking to itself in a language it hasn't learned, 'those fetus's of today don't know shit, they just expect to be born instantly'.

xx

Blackwater? There's Nobody Here Called Blackwater...

2009-02-14T19:28:00.006+10:00

...well they changed their name to XE (pronounced 'Zee'). Maybe this is just so people can put on mock germanic accents when they hear the sound of boots on concrete and be able to say 'Ze private military are ear to bost down our door', it'll certainly lighten the mood somewhat and take the tension out of the situation. Although apparently it's because they have a 'tarnished brand'...Who knew...I think it shows just how capitalistic our world has become when the murdering of innocent people becomes a commodity and a goverment death squad is regarded as a 'brand'.

A book you should read about 'Xe' is by Jeremy Scahill and is unfortunately named 'Blackwater' (how outdated, right guys!). I'm hoping people can still find this despite the recent name change.

A possibility for this name change could be to coincide with the current rebranding of the US government. New starts and all that...just bear in mind that no matter how many troops get withdrawn from US & UK occupied war zones throughout the world (for the sole purpose of fooling those that believe what the mainstream media tells them, in that they'll think 'the new guys' are doing a great job), these private military armies will still exist, working above the law and killing people whose names 'sound funny to pronounce', not to mention their own. The closing of Guantanmo is a PR stunt, as it'll all be happening 'in house' from now on.

The other day I looked on Google maps at the street I used to live on in Brisbane. I could hone in on my flat and take a virtual walk around my old neighbourhood. Nina's table has now been immortalised for anyone wishing to view 101 Moray Street this way, as we must've been living there still when the little google car came round. I think this proves that this is surely the only realistic way to fight and spy on 'terrorists' in a clandestine way that all of the public can so freely enjoy. We should send the little google car out to document the hills and mountains of Afghanistan, cross the border into Pakistan and then maybe stop for a game of Polo with Mr Bin Laden and various members of the CIA. It'll be a riot and we'll all be involved, because we're all striving for the greater good. We should regulate the internet, report our neighbours for not recycling, we should...oh those have happened already...well at least we're all thinking along the same lines...

I read the other day that there have been 193 fatal shark attacks in Australia in the past 200 years. Less than a person a year has been killed each year. I don't even know what 'less than a person' looks like, but I'd imagine they'd look like they'd just been attacked by a shark. Either way, because we've been told Sharks are 'dangerous', (although the death toll really isn't that high for that length of time in comparison to the amount of sharks being destroyed for soup), and with us invading and having a lack of respect for what is ostensibly their home and their environment, the only rational response, is to try and wipe them off the face of the earth in their own back yard to stop them from doing anything, just on the off chance they were maybe thinking of it. Parallels...metaphors...Orwell...it's interesting to observe that we apply these same principles when it comes to the invasion of other countries because we want to gain something from being in someone else's territory. Human behaviour is consistent if nothing more...especially when it concerns those on earth that are regarded as 'Less Than People'...

xx

This is a great article by the ever incredible John Pilger. Please read...
http://www.zcommunications.org/zspace/commentaries/3765/

The Day The Snow Came

2009-02-03T05:33:00.020+10:00

The UK saw it's heaviest snowfall in over 20 years today and it was amazing for a variety of reasons. Amazing in that it shows just how ill prepared we are for weather like this, in that the public transport system in the capital pretty much came to a standstill. It was Nina's first proper snowfall experience so we made a snowman. And also, due to the former, I was able to stay at home for the day, which enabled me to take part in the latter.

Nina was pretty excited...

Overlooking the Brisbane river overlooking snow

In the garden

Fuck you snow!

Kind of excited...

Snowman & Me

xx

Darwin

2009-01-29T09:16:00.004+10:00

My brother rescued a dog in South Korea, he's called Darwin and looks completely awesome. I would like to welcome little Darwin into our family and we look forward to seeing him soon. I'm dead proud of Ben for doing this. Nice one l'il bro...

xx

It's Been A While...

2009-01-26T06:16:00.042+10:00

This is my first update of the year and is also the first in a while. I haven't really been to inspired to write anything. No reason, no cliched "it's January, I agree with everyone that looks forward to the free papers you get on the tube mass back to work depression". I just didn't really feel as if it was worth putting anything down if it was half-hearted.
Anyway, I'm sat here on a sunday evening, the new season of Lost is about to start (of which I will be watching) and I figured it would be good to upload a bunch of photos that I've taken over the past month.
I recently bought a Canon 450d and it's incredible. I've never been too geeky with photography, but I feel I may become so. I'm learning so much from it and I think I've made a pretty good start, especially considering I've no real idea what I'm doing. Anyway, all these photos were taken on it and are from the Christmas/New Year period and up until last week.

My Mum!

Nina's First Official English Christmas...although this photo really gives nothing away that it's either christmas or in England, unless of course you recognise my parents walls...

My Dad! Was dead chuffed with the Jamie Carragher autobiography I got him. You should read it. Best football book ever. "We all dream of a team of..."

Nina cutting into a completely awesome Tofurky roast. That's the way we roll. Animal Rights christmas yo!

Same deal...

Christmas in a bowl

The Kitchen

Ma & Pa

We never miss out

My cat George is wicked...she is 19 years old and deaf. She's also a good poser...

Sedbergh making my Mum smile

Sedbergh making my Mum crease...

...and my Aunty Den

Sedbergh High Street

Sedbergh

Nien

The start of the walk

Berries

Sedbergh Mill

Mum & Den

Fields

I bet that stream is piggin well cold

Dad, Nien, Chris, Den & Mum...wicked...

I'm in this one...

Then Nina and I went to Brighton for the weekend. We stayed at the Hilton on the beach front. Ordinarily wouldn't be staying there, but we got a deal and it only cost £44 for the night for both of us. That included breakfast as well. I kept telling Nina to put loads of fruit and pots of jam in her purse at breakfast but she wouldn't. I was tempted to put a hash brown in mine, but that may have been a tad excessive.

Despite the cheap stay, the phrase 'you get what you pay for' certainly rang true that night, with the fire alarm going off at 5.00 in the morning. Thankfully there wasn't a fire in the building, but what I did learn about myself that night, was that if I can't see a fire, I therefore don't believe it's there. Sleep or death?..sleep or death?..they're kind of related, only one is more permanent than the other...we kept the shampoo packets...

Cat's are pretty much awesome wherever you look...thankfully, despite being in Brighton, this cat didn't have dreadlocks...

Brighton beach front. It was well cold and very windy, but like all professionals, I knuckled down and got on with the job at hand...

When we got back, we filled a Duck's head with kernels and it was sick...

xx

Hey, So What About That Clinton/Lewinsky Scandal?

2008-11-12T01:55:00.006+10:00

A friend of mine told me they (these are the same 'they' people refer to when also talking about scientists) were currently making a film of 'Angels & Demons', based on the book by Dan Brown. I don't generally agree with the popular opinion of most people (although there are a lot of Liverpool fans, so that's nice), so it was of no surprise that I wouldn't like his books. Unsurprisingly, the Catholic Church isn't too pleased about this adaptation apparently.

By the way, I'm currently working on a character for a skit called 'the guy who gets into popular culture way late, but pretends it's cutting edge and makes comments about it', lets see how it goes...aaaaand scene...

This is my impression of Dan Brown...

"Professor Steve walked down a street (rue), probably somewhere in Paris where smoke was filtering out from cracks in the doorways. SMOKE? DOORWAYS? A ginger hulk of an albino with pink eyes laughed and disappeared into the distance. DISTANCE? He quickly realised there was absolutely no need to laugh or disappear, so came back and gave Professor Steve the information he needed. The catholic church denied it despite not knowing what it was. MURDER? When they found out what it was, they still denied it anyway. Professor Steve accused them of fiddling with kids. KIDS? They took a bit too long to deny that allegation, which was very weird. Somewhere in the distance somebody, and no one knew who, just screamed the word CLANDESTINE. Then everyone went to sleep like this zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz because it had been a very long day."

Weirdly, I've not been contacted to write book reviews or become a literary agent. Dan Brown is a multi-millionaire, I'm sat at my desk at work trying to make myself laugh. Hey ho...

xx

Literally

2008-10-17T08:44:00.002+10:00

This made me laugh and also made me remember actually how good this Tears For Fears song is, literal or not...I'm well pumped for listening to 'Songs From The Big Chair' now...

xx

(Re)born Again(st)

2008-10-17T08:24:00.008+10:00

The other sunday, The Fuckin Hate played our first gig since before I moved to Australia and it was a blast. Our good friends Robin and Josephine moved to Stockholm to live this week, so we played their leaving party. It's great having friends throughout the world, because then if you go and visit, you get to see the place as if you were a native, cos in the past, I've wasted a bunch of time before in cities walking round the obvious tourist bits and you inevitably miss out on the little gems.

Here are some photos of the gig. Looking forward to doing some more soon. Plus, we've already written some new songs, so I reckon we should have a new album ready to record by the new year hopefully.

xx

Input Sarcastic Remark Like "No Way!!!" plus The Best Laugh Ever

2008-10-07T07:03:00.003+10:00

A couple of articles that are worth reading for those of you that read my blog and still consume flesh (just telling it like it is...). It's a circular affect and you could say it's down to evolution (of which I'm a big fan so I guess I'm kind of torn...I love how we think we learn, but don't really...)...anyway, read the links below and then ask yourself if a canvas bag over plastic is really enough...

...I probably am really...

Who would've thought...although I guess you do reap what you sew...

This however, is incredible...

xx

Torres and the price of oil...

2008-09-24T18:36:00.009+10:00

You may remember when I was in Brisbane I posted picures of a bike I built out there, which I affectionately named Torres. Well I became very attached and couldn't bear with parting with the frame (according to bike guys that know around Brisbane when I used to ride it around, it's an old European track frame with sweet 'lugs'...), so I shipped it back with me when I moved home. I managed to get a 'relocation' allowance so it didn't cost that much as extra baggage. Anyway, I left most of it in Brisbane and have been rebuilding since I got home and apart from the paint job (which I don't think I'll change as I like the vintage, rustic charm) it's pretty much finished.

Here he/it is...

Much better...anyway, whilst we're on the subject of bikes, here's Nina swearing at me whilst we went on a ride around Rutland the other week. I think the juxtaposition between the peace and serenity of the countryside and Nina's aggressive gesturing works brilliantly. I've now come to look at it as an art piece, a metaphor for modern times, in that I think what she's really saying is 'fuck you cars and fuck your high petrol prices yeah!'...if only she could drive...

xx

"Imagine a boot stamping on a human face - Forever"

2008-09-09T19:10:00.002+10:00

...Maybe not...ordinarily, when someone runs onto a football pitch, you want him to get the hell off. However, when unjust, excessive force is carried out for no reason by private security forces, or any form of 'law enforcement' for that matter, then I guess they'll eventually get what's coming to them. "If there is hope, it lies in the proles"...

xx

Back In London

2008-07-05T04:30:00.008+10:00

Party At Guantanamo

2008-06-20T17:03:00.005+10:00

This is my attempt at a self portrait. I actually no longer have a beard, so it's completely unrealistic and I'm disappointed with myself for representing myself in a way that is ostensibly only partly recognisable. The 'partly' part being that I do own a shadow of a hawk.

xx

5/101 Moray Street, 4005

2008-06-05T10:07:00.013+10:00

Here are some photos of the flat I've been living in for the past year. I almost kind of wish I'd not lived in it because upon moving back home in a week, there's no way I'd be able to afford a place like this in London unless I was on Hollyoakes money or won the lottery (which, by the way will happen guys, it will. Always believe in dreams, always...even though I've not even bought a scratch card in about 12 years, there's still chance, because it's a dream. It's funny, cos me and my friends even have 'what would you do if you won the lottery' parties. I can't believe some of them would buy a ferrari and all the ice cream they could eat, ha ha you guys...Me? I would help the world...I would help...the...world)...it's a nice flat...

We have 3 piggin balconies for a start. One off each bedroom and one off the lounge...we move out in 3 days (hold on, 3 days...3 balconies...3 people living in the flat...a triangle has 3 sides and is considered the strongest shape. Pyramids were and still are triangles getting intimate. Could this mean that this is a portal to some sort of mathematical catacomb, or...oh actually we move out in 2 days, I got it wrong...maths don't work no more...we were so close...sigh...)

My balcony at night. Just behind the set of houses is the Brisbane river. It's not a bad view every morning.

The view from our front balcony looking out onto Moray Street

Looking out onto Moray Street again from the same balcony

Our lounge

Kitchen and whatever that bit might be called

Bit that leads to bedrooms...

This might be the last blog I get to do before I move home, but I still have more photos and stuff to put up and say. Despite my initial grievances with the humidity in the summer, Brisbane is one of the most incredible cities I've ever been to and I feel even luckier to have been able to live here for the past year. I've made some great friends and had some unforgettable experiences, apart from that one time when something happened and I did something that someone said something about...I don't remember...anyway...

It's very easy to get nostalgic about things and remember how great they were, when really, it's just existing and what you're used to. I've realised this past year that I've perhaps very much been a 'grass is greener' person (although the grass literally is greener back home, cos it's dead hot here and dry). Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, because I think it shows just how much you value somewhere, despite not fully appreciating it when you're there. I'd be more worried if I never wanted to return, but as it happens, I cannot wait. I also cannot wait to return to Brisbane (although I've not yet left). It took a while to settle and get used to, but I feel comfortable here and not like an outsider. I'm glad I'll be leaving with a 'see you soon' as opposed to a 'goodbye'...

xx

The Probable Shape Of Things To Come

2008-05-26T17:59:00.005+10:00

Possibly prophetic, maybe realistic fiction...I guess time will tell...

BOOM!

Thanks in advance Neo Cons...(and that is some Chandler from friends sarcasm to help desensitise us back into the warm glow of plasma tv escapism)

Over the course of the past few decades, America shipped most of it's industry to China because 'stuff could get made cheaper'. The economy declined and continues to. In 2004, China & Iran signed one of the largest oil and gas deals since sliced bread...

You know how to the rest of the world, watching the Superbowl, makes you wonder how it's possible for anyone to get so 'pumped' and 'whoop' into mental regression, upon being given a foam hand that reads something like 'Budweiser, You can't beat rubbish beer and being used to large crowds, so that Fema camps don't seem so alien'? Well China, I imagine, along with various anti-american allies who have also signed oil deals with Iran, will be the complete opposite of those cheering on 'any given sunday', should america go through with what's expected.

Here's possible president John McCain scaring the living crap out of everyone else in the world who isn't a republican fucktard (I made that word up all by myself)

Here's not-possible president Hilary Clinton scaring the living crap out of everyone etc etc etc ...democrat fucktard

I know this is american politics and I'm English, but it gets to the point where this ceases to be about nations, this unfortunately is a worldwide concern.

Here's Obama making a comment about Iran that makes you think 'ahh...maybe the world might be ok', but then you realise that it's just more spin and that in fact, he's just another puppet for the 'Demopublicans' (I just made that up too, as I can't really tell the difference at this stage...) manifesto.

It might be worth checking out this with regards to Obama's credentials. Surely his foreign policy advisor can't be a certain Zbigniew Brzezinski, who founded the Tri-Lateral Commission alongside David Rockefeller (imagine limitless paragraphs that mention how the Rockefellars, Prescott Bush etc helped fund Nazi Germany for yourself, otherwise we could be here for hours...).

The irony being with regards to China's interest in Iran, is that I doubt, unless they've been stockpiled, those large foam hands will cease to be exported from the 'peoples republic of...' should an event like the aforementioned take place...oh well, no more 'whooping', no more fun...

Oh yeah, 1 in 100 americans are in prison and California wants to build 53,000 more prison beds. I wonder why that is...

The Third Reich never lost WW2, it just changed continents...

xx

London Police...

2008-05-21T19:49:00.009+10:00

...in 2005, 'execute' an innocent brazilian man cos he was wearing a 'winter coat and it looked out of place, due to it being 17 degrees in London at the time, so he must be one of the 7/7 bombers' (I'm paraphrasing, but that was a point made, in which case, anyone with brown skin in Australia would be gunned down too, because currently it's their winter and my word, they're all wrapped up to hell cos it's dropped below 22 degrees...my point being is that Brazil is a hot country too, so you need to adjust...anyway...) , now they arrest a kid for calling the Church Of Scientology a 'cult'. (I'm not comparing the two in terms of devastation by the way).

Read the story here and decide for yourself if this isn't the most ludicrous thing you've heard in the last day (ridiculous stuff happens all the time, so there's no point going over the top...). If you read further down the article, you'll notice that the Police 'came under fire' (the BBC's words, not mine, the irony, lucky they were only 'word bullets') for accepting gifts from the Church Of Scientology.

Reading this, it made me realise that I am lucky to not have suffered a similar bout of over reaction as this kid has a couple of years ago. I was walking past the Scientology 'shop' on Tottenham Court Road, when I was coerced into listing to the babbling of an 8 year old with learning difficulties, who was masquerading as a man in a black suit in his early 40's, (who more than likely became drawn to scientology by standing behind the barriers at movie premiers in Leicester Square and at the back doors of Covent Garden Theatres, come rain or shine, with thousands of others, who make you understand why eugenics became a concept, hoping that they might be able to get a 'wave' or photo of their celluloid heroes...phew), who, upon my asking of 'is this the scientology test', he avoided the question and said it was a 'personality test'...I asked if it would prove I was 'fun loving and thought cats were nice'. He persisted. I asked again if this was the dianetics test (I have no idea why he didn't just say yes, as the sign outside the premises says it in massive gold letters), to which he finally replied 'yes'. I then flippantly said 'No thanks, I'm in the process of starting my own cult'. He calmly, but annoyed muttered, 'it's not a cult'...

Not my most crowning moment by any stretch, as scientology is an incredibly easy target, but doesn't it worry you that the London Constabulary are now arresting people for things like this! (Not to mention the shooting in 2005) I know I've been away for almost a year, but surely our freedom of speech hasn't deteriorated that much. By this logic, the police should be arresting most people in football crowds for the amount of defamatory comments and songs that are said about each others teams and players (for the record though, the one about Gary Neville & Phil Neville being inbred is completely true, you ask anyone). As we're on the subject of Police brutality and over reaction, check out what New York had to offer from back in November. America always does things 'bigger'...

Back to scientology...I actually feel a little sorry for it (not really), in that they're trying so hard to prove themselves as legitimate, yet will never do so, because of the timing of the organisations inception i.e the 20th Century. I'm sure if we wait a couple of thousands years (unless we don't plummet into an ice age, yeah George Bush...), I'm sure scientology will be looked upon as being a 'real religion', because that is exactly what all the abrahamic religions have become today. When myth or fable survives time, it bizarrely becomes 'fact'.

I can't be bothered to go into the history of scientology, but it was written around a similar period to Lord of The Rings, and both contain volcanoes and 'souls being cleansed'...maybe one got taken a little more seriously. It goes to show that with the right amount of money and gullibility, anyone can have a religion so it's only fair that all those fantasy fanatics who spend hours painting Orcs and Elves and wizards etc, re-enacting battles for days and using spells such as 'plagues' etc, should be recognised as a religion...actually hold on, a shit load of students tried to get 'Jedi' onto the last census, so forget that...

L Ron - 'Orc, I now turn your water into...erm...poisoned water'

Tolkien -'Oh no, now generations of orcs will dehydrate'

L Ron -'Thankfully this is just make believe. Can you imagine anyone performing magic tricks so that water changes it's natural composition, say into wine for example, ha ha...'

Tolkien - 'Hold on, don't laugh. Apparently that did happen, less than 2000 years ago. Jesus did it'

L Ron - 'How do you know? Is there any footage of him on youtube doing it?'

Tolkien - 'No, but even more reliable than that, it's written in an old book and that guy with the megaphone in the centre of London is always going on about it'

L Ron - 'A book? Shit...I don't know what to say. I didn't know books could be that influential'
Tolkien- 'L Ron, I cannot believe you've not read the bible. Anyway, it was written once, but then they realised no one would follow it as time went on because it was a little too scary and fantastical, what with fire and brimstone and God trying to destroy everything. Much like that massive eye in the book I'm currently writing that I conveniently let you read the other day so the purpose of this banter makes an ounce of sense, but without the massive eye getting families to offer up their daughters to be gang raped or burnt at sacrificial alters (the book of Judges) as a form of offering to him...so it was re-written so that it would sound more feasible and less scary. But it's actually dead boring now. Aside from the crucifixion, which is pretty brutal. I've actually taken that martyr metaphor and used it in my book with Gandalf'

L Ron - 'Wow...actually J RR, speaking of books, I'm going to shoot off now. I've just this minute immediately come up with an idea for one. All I'll say is that it includes a massive war a Volcano and aliens falling into the volcano towards the end. I don't want to spoil it for you when it comes out so I won't give too much away'

Tolkien- 'Have you just stolen the premise of my book and replaced 'Gollum' falling into the Volcano with 'Aliens'...
L Ron - 'No...for a start 'Gollum' was evil and besides his spirit doesn't rise up into the atmosphere, cling to the bodies of the living and kickstart the beginning of the human race as we know it...sorry J RR, I've just spoiled it for you...actually can I have a percentage of your earnings for life?'
*speaking of continuity issues*

It's depressing/funny to know that I can't even think before I write sometimes...

xx

Live @ The Old Museum

2008-05-09T22:19:00.004+10:00

On the 26th April, I played my first solo gig overseas. It was also my first gig in 7 months, or 3rd gig in 9, depending on which way you want to look at it. I'll be playing a few more before I leave Brisbane to move back home to England in June (I assume the only people reading this are people that will be aware of my return already)...anyway...

I'm recording there next week in the concert hall, so I'll finally have a 5 new songs ready to pass around. Should be fun.

gjowen

xx

I Have Been Doing Stuff

2008-04-11T22:15:00.048+10:00

This post is mainly going to consist of photos because over the last 3 weekends (now read 6 weeks or so), like the title of it implies, I have...

A few things...I saw Wilco at a venue called the Tivoli over here on the 19th March. I've seen them loads of times before, but this was special because of the size of the venue, as it was the smallest place I've seen them play. The term 'intimate gig' definitely rang true that night, and as a bit of a Wilco geek, I saw them play the best version ever of 'Shot In The Arm'...also, as if they couldn't get any more perfect, I noticed on their UK merch site, they have a scarf that it possibly the best scarf in the world, that I intend to buy when I get home. If you don't get the reference after you've clicked on the link, then I will feel sad and almost as if you don't know me as a person (oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I'm ripped to hell on red wine, which is why this may make for an interesting read. And by interesting, I mean that I was lying when I said it'd consist mainly of photos...).

Anyway, the gig was amazing...but I didn't take my camera, so no photos. But it was possibly the only venue I've ever been to that didn't transfer bottled beer into a plastic cup. Why? Because they rightly assume that you're an adult and not some jumped up fluorescent frat boy that wants to spike girls drinks, who then recognises, for a split second, the self disgust in himself, proceeds to chuck the bottle at the band or someone in the audience more evolved than himself. So here's to the Tivoli...one of the best venues I've ever been to, and that's ME saying that...they will be so proud...

Because there is no consistency in the retarded folklore pastime that is christianity, this year, they couldn't decide on 'when Easter was', so it was actually earlier than normal. It's weird that nobody knew when Christ was crucified...(hold on, let me quickly change into my Fox TV american sit com sarcastic character clothes who shouts a lot)...oh, actually it's not, BECAUSE IT NEVER HAPPENED...sigh...anyway...

We (and by 'we' I mean, me, Nina and our good friends Rosie and Kevin) went to Fraser Island, which as we all know, is the largest sand island in the world. You're only allowed on there with a 4 wheel drive, so we hired one. The only problem was, was that the backward car hire company rules, stipulated that 'Fraser Island' was one of the places it wasn't allowed to be taken. In fact, this 4 wheel drive we hired, wasn't actually insured to be taken off road at all. That's like hiring cooking utensils from a catering company, only to be told that they're only supposed to be used for decoration and staring at your upside down reflection in. Twats...anyway, we took it on there, but it was a heart in mouth moment for a lot of the journeys we made, even more so when we hit something that practically tore the protective undercarriage off the vehicle. Luckily, Kevin is completely rad and has a variety of knives and tools strapped to his person, so managed to fix it. Regardless, we had a fantastic time and managed to camp away from all the tourists both nights, so it felt like we had the place to ourselves.

Camp on the first night

View from some sand. Please note, that this is now a week later than when I originally started this post, so am sober, so it might not read like the musings of wino.

This picture is called 'Am I alone? Are we alone?..Scone' (which is weird, cos I pronounce the last word so it rhymes with 'gone')...maybe it will...

Lake Birrabeen

Fraser Island is the only place on earth where Dingos are still 100% pure. They are dangerous to humans, but only if you give them a chinese burn and they get miffed. They are very sneaky and have learned to open the lids off 'cool boxes' and will do anything to get food (I blame television and the sugar addiction that is attributed to a westernised fast food diet. American culture has a lot to answer for, because they used to be much thinner and have such cleaner, less greasy skin...). And it was for this reason alone, I slept with a spade in my tent, just in case I needed to whack one on the nose, or dig for treasure.

Planes use the beach to land and take off on, but if I may be so wry and make an observation that someone on a mediocre current affairs panel show would make, I'd imagine the terminal at Fraser Island is probably a lot more efficient than HEATHROW TERMINAL 5...WHACKITY SCHMACKITY DO...

This is called a Saint Andrews Cross...that's it...

As we were driving back to catch the ferry back across to the mainland, we saw some people a little too close to a Dingo being a bit foolish, as they've been known to attack. Anyway, I got out of the car (a decent distance away), but then they got back in their car and it started heading towards me.

Dingo looking well miffed. Note the rangers in the background. They stopped by it and shot it with a catapult and it ran off into the bushes. Apparently they have to do this to keep up it's natural fear of humans, or at the very least, a natural fear of humans with catapults.

Sailing back to the mainland

We then drove back to Coolum where Nina's mum lives and spent the monday a little further up the coast at Noosa, swimming and mucking about with more rad animals, like this one...

Like with the Dingo, I didn't actually realise how close this Goanna was, due to me trying to focus it properly in the viewfinder of my camera, but it was heading my way and Nina thankfully told me to move. Seriously like, it were like fuckin Jurrasic Park gone fuckin wrong like!

The following weekend we went down to Byron Bay with Kevin and Rosie and stayed with Rosie's parents.

A Water Dragon (ere Gary...why's it on sand then. He he he...you can't handle me can ya, ere pass me that copy of Nuts Magazine)

Kevin with 'Snakeman's Truck'. Lucky for him, after his Snorkeling business fell through, he was at least able to keep his vanity plate and not look silly...

A Brown Snake, thankfully in a box, as it could literally kill your face off

Byron Bay is pretty nice

BBQ at the Gordons

This is actually the only picture of me surfing. You would've thought that this might've been a monumental moment, but no...the others decided to go and get changed whilst Rosie's dad Ray was giving me a lesson. Thankfully Rosie remembered and ran back shooting wildly towards my direction. For the record, I didn't fall off and rode the wave all the way in. I promised I wouldn't let you down England...I promised...

Actually that last sentiment was a lie...

This Huntsman Spider crawled out from the sea...to think, seconds earlier, I'd been in that sea. It could've been me...but it wasn't as I was already out...

The following weekend one of my mates Chris was over for work in Sydney, so I went down for 5 days to hang out with him. Also in Sydney at the same time was another mate Stu, who I surprised. This was organised via telecommunications with his girlfriend Vicky. Thankfully this was for him, a very nice surprise...

It could've done with a bit of a scrub to be honest. As for the hippy doing kicks, he/she jazzed the place up a bit

The best thing to wear on the beach is a shirt and trousers...although I am wearing a hooded top to be fair...

And to think, I have the word 'Harbour' tattooed on my right ankle...which was done 2 years ago. What could this mean?!

Appropriate choice of words 'The Catholic Church', considering 'a recent news'...interesting that the Pope is 'ashamed' yet really only seems to be zipping round the world breathing infallibility wherever he goes. Check out this website to see if abuse is really being stopped. SNAP (that's actually the name of the organisation, not hip speak as in 'oh snap'...)

It seemed good at the time...

We all know the old childrens song 'Check Out Those Fuckin Bats In That Tree'...well this is where it was first sung

If you think that's something, you should've seen the other guy! Sorry, I got black eyes confused with spider webs...

"Wow, whose is that?"
"I have no idea"
"So you took a picture of a person you don't knows boat"
"Yeah...pretty much"
"That's incredible, you've immediately become somebody I admire and aspire to be like. I wish I had photos of other peoples expensive property"
"One day...one day"

And to think I have 'Harbour' tattooed on my...

Where the phrase 'massive cricket' comes from

Chris had a twitch

His favourite game 'Yahtzee' had already been taken, so he had to get a less 'fun' number plate...

And we're done...

xx

Alive In Four Decades

2008-03-16T22:20:00.014+10:00

This happened a few weeks ago now, but on the 22nd February, I turned 30. Honestly no big deal, all I had to do was go to sleep the night before and then wake up and I was immediately that old. Actually that's not strictly true. I was born on Greenwich Mean Time, so I technically I became a day older around 9:58 am on saturday morning of the 23rd, but because I was having my birthday in the future, I felt like I could get away with stretching it out a bit.

The day was great and one I'll definitely remember, not least because of the fact that it was spent on a different continent. I've been playing bass in a band over here called Swandive which some friends over here started. It's great fun, because usually, I've always put together the bands I've been in and written the songs for them, but this time, I haven't done any of that, plus I'd never played bass in a band before, so it's been a good musical challenge as it were. It's also nice to not have any pressure on me to come up with songs, so I can therefore approach it all from a different angle. Anyway, the point being, was that also on my birthday, we had our very first gig at a club in the city called Rosies, so I can finally say I've played "abroad". Wicked.

Nina ordered me the most amazing dairy free birthday cake, of which the photo above is of. It was a double chocolate and hazelnut cake and it was made by the lovely people at The Forest in West End. Hands down the best cake I've ever had.

That's Nick screaming and me on the right in the shadows. Photo taken by Luke Dyms over at the Kingdom Of Sad Machines.

Cake is nice. Photo also by Luke

I also built myself a bike. It's also the first bike I've ever bought, as I've usually inherited them off my Dad, as he has a little collection going on and has passed bits on to me in the past. I bought the frame a couple of months ago as I saw it in the classifieds, I think it's an old track frame, then took it to an incredible place, again, over in West End, called Bicycle Revolution to get the remaining parts. I think I read somewhere that it was started by Friends Of The Earth as a way to get old, unused bikes off the landfills, so they just have all these bikes lying around and you can pick and assemble. The people that run the place are awesome and did an amazing job on my bike, so when I said earlier that I built it, it was kind of a lie.

I had new wheels put on, but everything else was from bikes that were already lying around. It's so awesome and I'm already incredibly attached to it, so will be shipping it home when I move back.

This is Torres. I've called him this because he is red, fast and pretty :)

xx

Wow...

2008-03-01T18:13:00.003+10:00

...the US Army...wow...

Professional Celebrity?

...I thought supplying the soundtrack to genocide via ipods going through the speakers in the tanks was enough, now I'm guessing they want the actual bands...

Imagine being in a band that volunteers to play, yet gets turned down on the basis of not being famous enough...

again...wow...

xx

Bad Karma

2008-02-27T21:33:00.003+10:00

I think I will inevitably suffer from bad photographic karma as a result of taking this picture, but until then and for the moment I do feel it's worth it. Irony will not often present itself in such a visual format, so when it does, you pretty much have to grab the proverbial bull by the proverbial horns.

Location: Food court, Queens Street Mall, Brisbane...sigh...

xx

Recent Historical Moments

2008-02-14T09:00:00.006+10:00

If I wanted to be pedantic, which for the most part, I like to be, usually for the sake of 'a joke', every moment that passes is an historical moment. It's just the some are inevitably more significant than others.

Since I've been in Australia I've witnessed the removal of a government that perpetuated racism, to a new government, that in it's short time has already achieved a great deal. And yesterday, I watched that government do something it promised it always would, should it be elected. How baffling is it to see a goverment actually go through with what they promised! Coming from the UK, it certainly is a rarity.

Yesterday, as I'm sure you're aware, Kevin Rudd apologised to Australia's stolen generation for past atrocities and outlined plans of rehabilitation. It was an incredible moment to watch on television, more so because of the people that it meant so much to. Unsurprisingly, John Howard wasn't there as he was always against 'apologising', yet all 5 of Australia's past prime ministers that are still alive, were.

I've linked the news report from the Al Jazeera news site, because it's a site worth reading news in general from anyway, as it gives perspectives from the Arab world. We're lucky in the UK in that we have the Guardian & the BBC, but still, details can always be 'missed'...better still, read Z Net.

NEWS

xx

Small Talk

2008-02-04T16:45:00.000+10:00

It's been raining most of the last 2 months. This is because it is monsoon season. When you look outside, it's grey and has that tint that the UK has about it. The difference being, is that it's as humid as hell so you still have to wear shorts and you end up sweating like a paedophile on an exercise bike in a normal adult gym!
*I would like to point out that paedo jokes/references are incredibly dated now, but I am in Australia, so they're all the rage here, wah wah wah...Actually Australia being behind jokes are dated too, I need new writers, damn that strike in the US*

I'm not into it. I miss my jackets (I have quite a collection back home). I brought 3 with me, have I worn them? Actually I know that answer, and the answer is no I haven't...don't worry double breasted denim with eppilettes, I'll be home soon...

My friends over here run a Punk/Hardcore magazine called Death Before Dishonour and a few weeks back I was offered the chance to interview Billy Bragg at the Big Day Out festival on the Gold Coast (The Gold Coast by the way is horrific, it's neon hell, like a bad impersonation of Miami. The churches actually have neon crucifixes. If you are going to visit a coast in Queensland, visit the Sunshine Coast, it's beautiful and at the moment, unspoiled). I proverbially jumped at the chance. It was the last interview of the day, so I was semi-expecting him to be tired of answering variations on the same question, but he was the complete opposite (of not tired of answering variations on the same question i.e completely awake for answering variations of the same...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz).

He was awesome. Such a nice guy and it was an absolute privilege to interview him. I have no idea when the magazine is supposed to be out, but I'll let people know. He was fantastic live too. The same couldn't be said for the rest of the festival (in that it wasn't fantastic seeing them in person).

Great bands playing, Spoon, Battles, Bjork, Rage Against The Machine, but it was a really shitty atmosphere made that way by the amount of nationalist pricks in fluorescent clothes. I know there are idiots at all festivals, the Reading Festival in the UK has more than it's fair share of dickheads, but Big Day Out tops the lot. I was so surprised by the amount of people my age and younger wearing t shirts that read 'Support It Or Fuck Off', with the Australian Flag underneath. The worst one I saw was a home made one that said 'We Grew Here, You Flew Here'...nice...tonnes of people with southern cross tattoos and flags, like this prick...

I'm not saying Australia is a stand alone racist country, because the UK definitely has a massive problem and has done for way before my lifetime, but I guess what surprised me, was how much of this comes from people my age and younger. It's something I chatted to Billy (we're on first name terms now...it's so funny, he has this nickname especially for me, it's 'mate'...) about. I hear racist words much more over here than I ever have done back home. Could it be because political correctness is enforced more in the UK, so people try to hide their true feelings? Either way, it's not something I'm down no matter which side of the world I'm living on. Racism that exists in the UK is born out of frustration by idiots who feel that, as an old country, we are losing our cultural identity, so will vehemently defend the island against the influx of 'foreigners', yet it's probably the same people, whose favourite food is curry. I think with Australia, it's perhaps it's because it's still such a new country, that some feel that they haven't been given enough time to define their cultural identity, so want to set in stone what an 'australian' is. But it's the age old irony that immigrants don't want 'different immigrants' on their land.

It was Australia day last week and the same deal. People love the fuckin flag! What are you so proud of! A history steeped in genocide! Because I'm certainly not proud of mine, for that very reason. Not that I'd ever expect anybody from any country to be held accountable for historical atrocities (unless of course they're directly involved, i.e President Bush, ex Prime Minister Blair, President Suharto of Indonesia etc etc etc, the latter having the luck to die in a hospital as opposed to a prison only last week), but if you're going to celebrate a national holiday of this ilk, at least be respectful and aware of the real meaning behind it and don't perpetuate the ill-treatment of your native people. It's as retarded as July 4th in the US (do Native Americans celebrate that day...I doubt it, although it's dressed up as the day the declaration was signed whereby the US gained independence from the UK). If the UK celebrated a day by way of national holiday for every moment of tyranny the world over, I feel the 5 day working week would be abolished to make room for a 3 day weekend.

I'll leave this post with some fantastic lyrics written by Billy Bragg, from the song

Take Down The Union Jack

Take down the Union Jack, it clashes with the sunset
And put it in the attic with the emperors old clothes
When did it fall apart? Sometime in the 80s
When the Great and the Good gave way to the greedy and the mean
Britain isn’t cool you know, its really not that great
It's not a proper country, it doesn’t even have a patron saint
It's just an economic union that’s passed its sell-by date

Take down the Union Jack, it clashes with the sunset
And ask our Scottish neighbours if independence looks any good
‘Cos they just might understand how to take an abstract notion
Of personal identity and turn it into nationhood
Is this the 19th century that I’m watching on tv?
The dear old Queen of England handing out those MBEs
Member of the British Empire - that doesn’t sound too good to me

Gilbert and George are taking the piss aren’t they?
Gilbert and George are taking the piss.
What could be more British than here’s a picture of my bum?
Gilbert and George are taking the piss

Take down the Union Jack, it clashes with the sunset
And pile all those history books, but don’t throw them away
They just might have some clues about what it really means
To be an Anglo hyphen Saxon in England.co.uk

WORDS AND MUSIC: Billy Bragg (2002)

5 Months, 30 Years

2008-01-30T16:00:00.000+10:00

In 2 weeks time I will have been here 5 months, which is more or less the half way point of my stay. In 4 weeks time I will be turning 30. I was going to put 'the ripe old age of 30', but then I remembered that that level of self deprecation is strictly reserved for those in my age bracket that think they're daring because they told a joke that has 'Aids' as a subject matter, or twisted the stalk off a vine-ripened tomato so that it looked the same as a cheaper standard tomato. Actually the latter was me, because supermarkets over here are expensive. Either way, I feel I've covered both base's.

If you minus 2 (weeks until I've been here 5 months) from 4 (weeks until I turn 30) you're left with 2 (weeks)

And if you divide the years I've spent on this earth (30) by the months I've been living in Brisbane (5) what you get is 6.

6 x 2 = 12. And 12 is the number of disciples Jesus had mucking about with him and the amount of months of the year or signs of the zodiac. Not to mention the 12 days of christmas. I swear you guys, I am no way making this up. This is serious, real maths, that points to so much more than just the bare facts of me sitting on a sofa updating this journal. I think I'm destined for greater things...

Watch this if you get chance http://zeitgeistmovie.com/

But before any of this happens and I find out what proverbial path my life should be heading down I went to an 'Op Shop' (charity shop) where I found this.

I believe Volume Four has a song on it called 'As long as beer and Rugby is involved, it's not gay if you penetrate another man...however, 2 guys kissing! They should be shot'. I'm not quite sure on the exact wording, but it's pretty much that...
Also notice the little guy behind the picture. One of the only dark skinned people I've seen that hasn't been made to live in the middle of the desert or Northern Territories. Maybe that's why he's smiling....(phew, let the gravity of that statement sink in for a second guys...)

I also helped a band out called The Amity Affliction on a tour they did this month. It was a blast as I got to travel the country and subsequently see a little more of it. We travelled by van, which meant 12 hour journeys between cities. There were 2 nights in Brisbane, 1 in Sydney, 2 in Melbourne and 1 in Adelaide. On average about 12 hours between each city, with a final 30 hour drive back across the desert from Adelaide to Brisbane. I've never spent that long in a mode of transportation in my life. It made the flight from the UK to Australia seem like a breeze.

Sydney

This is how Ahren likes to sleep

Steps in Melbourne

Me, slightly drunk at 2 in the morning in Melbourne. Taken by myself, with my camera propped on a bin.

Same as above

The desert is weird. We were only on the edge of it, but it's a strange place. We drove on a straight road for 8 hours. It was times like that where I missed being able to get to most places in a couple of hours. Although, whilst casting a wry observation over the transport network in the UK, an idiot has just told me to include this '8 hours to get somewhere! Sounds like driving through London...on a good day!'

xx

Queensland Roar

2008-01-06T12:58:00.000+10:00

Yesterday I went to watch my first game of Australian football (soccer) at the Suncorp Stadium in Brisbane. It was top of the league Queensland Roar v Melbourne Victory. It's very easy to slate the quality of the football in Australia, especially when you come from a country where the league is one of the best in the world, but it is well crap. It's about the standard of a bad Division One English team, which is the old Third Division. It's pretty much just kick and run and no one can cross.

Melbourne won 2-1

The stadium is nuts though. It holds 55,000 people and bigger than most Premiership stadiums. Apparently it's for the Rugby though. There were 21,000 at the game and the atmosphere is pretty quiet and polite. It's all very american though as there are KFC's, Dominoes pizza places etc throughout the stadium. The sportsmans choice of food....

Apparently the old Australian soccer league was disbanded 2 years ago and this new league was created because the standard of football was so bad...you can pretty much finish the rest of that sentence for yourself...

I'm an idiot

xx

My Favourite Records Of 2007

2008-01-06T12:48:00.000+10:00

I liked listening to these records a lot

Band Of Horses - Cease To Begin
Gay For Johnny Depp - The Politics Of Cruelty
The Horror - The Fear, The Terror, The Horror
The New Pornographers - Challengers
Pelican - City Of Echoes
Brutal Knights - Feast Of Shame
Christian Kjellvander - I Saw Her From Here/I Saw Here From Her
Dillinger Escape Plan - Ire Works
Ryan Adams - Easy Tiger
Rufus Wainwright - Release The Stars
Spoon - Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga
Wilco - Sky Blue Sky
Russian Circles - Enter
The National - Boxer
Bruce Springsteen - Magic

xx

Tasmania

2008-01-03T10:09:00.000+10:00

Originally called Van Dieman's Land, this island/state is probably the most 'English' place I've visited so far in Australia. We spent the christmas holidays down here, which suited me a lot more, because, as has become world-wide knowledge, I really don't like the humidity/climate of Queensland. Tasmania was a lot cooler and the air much clearer, plus, mosquitoes don't exist down there either, which was wicked, because as I've stated previously, I am allergic to their bites like an amusing "politician/pop culture comparison reference".

Apart from visiting the Macquarie Island (which I haven't) that's the closest I've been to Antarctica, which for a brief moment made me feel almost like a European explorer. Although, to truly honour that title/feeling, I'd have to kill/subjugate then embarrass the remaining surviving natives by blaming their current downward spiralling (un)social conditions and lack of conformity to a 'western lifestyle', on their inability to hold alcohol. It's slightly odd how we still put such an emphasis on how hollow ones legs are. I think evolution has it's own revenge here in the form of skin cancer, that's if you want to talk about adaptation to your environments that is...just sayin...just sayin...

http://www.reconciliation.org.au/i-cms.isp

We stayed at Nina's dad's farm house, where he has 50 acres of land and a creek. It's little town called Ellendale that's a couple of hours west of Hobart. There were more people in the local cemetery than actual living residents, plus, the crazy screaming lady at the phone box turned out to be a past 'star' of australian women's prison tv programme 'Prisoner Cell Block H'. What was confusing was why they'd cast such a butch looking women in a tv show about a lady's prison...

John and his wife Linda fed us so well. They grow most of their own stuff themselves, so we had fresh vegetables and fruit every day. As they're vegetarian/vegan themselves, it was awesome not to feel like you were being 'picky' as a guest. They also utilise the amount of land they have to let 'retired' animals hang out and eat and be happy, which is awesome. They have ex-race horses, cows and sheep.

Anyway, here are some photos from the trip

This is Fergus, he is nice

Cows love to get pissed

How boring is a natural, drinkable creek waterfall in your back garden

Fuck off waterfall (pretty much a similar joke to the one above)

Probably thinking about Erasure songs

Cockatoo

View from the port in Hobart

Wallaby and baby at Lady Baron's Falls

Having a break from filming the Tasmanian sequel to the film 'Singles'

Another waterfall

This is a Tasmanian Hardwood and is about 80ft tall, ere...bit like my nob, yeah lads!!!

Koala

Eastern Spotted Quoll

Golden Possum. They're in captivity because their colouring is a genetic mutation and as a result, will be targeted by other animals. Goes to show that ginger hair ridiculing also exists in the animal kingdom. Have we learned nothing! Well, yes, in that ginger hair ridiculing also exists in the animal kingdom...

Tasmanian Devils are completely rad

Pretty bored

This Wombat was dead nice. His name was Mater and still is probably

After Tasmania, we went to Melbourne, where hilarity was literally everywhere! I'm chuckling now recalling it. Imagine how much we laughed, until we decided it was actually probably a dead good place to go and get something to eat, so hoped that they didn't see us laughing at the name of their restaurant and spit in our food. Upon reflection, hilarity was not everywhere.

Toilet wall

xx

Happy Holidays

2007-12-20T11:36:00.001+10:00

I used this catch all holiday greeting, despite dressing up as fantasy figure whose costume was designed by coca cola...it's amazing what $5 will buy you in a chinese supermarket...

It seems odd spending christmas in the heat, although we will be down in Tasmania and apparently we'll get to see Fairy Penguins so that should help connect the 'snow' 'christmas' symbolism.

Anyway, have a good one and I'll see you in 2008

xx

Photos I've Taken

2007-12-18T20:41:00.000+10:00

Here are a selection of photos that I've taken I quite like. They are predominantly nature based, although there's one picture in there that, because of it's title, you'd assume the author would place it under the header 'nurture'. Which would be ironic if he was a catholic priest don't you think...oh wait, I did that joke a few posts down...I blame Australia for my repetition as I do at times feel like I'm living in a little time warp. But, like the song from the Rocky Horror Picture Show, I'm not afraid to do it (the time warp) again. Although I fear if was to do that dance in the little town a few hours outside of Adelaide where I found the book, I would be chased out by the women/men in the coffee shop/bookstore whilst they brandished 'fire sticks' screaming at me never to return. In reality, all I actually experienced was some very confused looks as I was trying not to laugh whilst I got my Aunty Den to take the picture.

I spent 5 days down in South Australia, near Adelaide with my Uncle and Aunt and their friends Ron & Bern. I had a blast. Got pissed on awesome wine, chatted loads (I like to do that) and saw some great countryside, so thanks to all of them for an incredible week.

Also, if you click on the photos it will in enlarge them.

Breakfast outside the train carriages in Riverton

Those pesky christian fundamentalists, they're always mucking about...

Ducklings are nice

Black Swan

Clare Valley Grapes

Tourist Idiot (sometimes self deprecation is a little too predictable...which in itself is self deprecation)

'American Psycho' is banned in the state of Queensland. Here is a review of the book from Adelaide, South Australia

I have no idea what type of spider this is, but if you saw one in Britain, more than likely, it would be described as a 'fuck off massive spider'

Below is a Golden Orb spider that made it's web just above our front door. Again, a decent sized spider by UK standards. Apparently the bite hurts, but not poisonous. Here are a series of photos of it, as it was there for about a week, before I had to cut it's web down with a stick, because I couldn't leave the house as it's web had dropped in front of the door and it was hanging about chest height. As you can see, I've tried to integrate the spider into an art piece I simply call 'Tell Everyone About This Spider'...but how will I tell everyone? The phone lines...the phone lines...(in the photo)...
You probably don't understand art like I do, especially the metaphors and hidden meanings used within it, which is why I explained the first one for free. The next, you'll have to work out for yourself.

This one is called 'Goat Hell (It On The) Mountain'

And the final shot of this trilogy. This was taken just after I moved it's web. Note the almost skull like angry voodoo face on it's body. It's because of this marking that I call this picture

'Kevin, That's Not Turps'

Gecko's love to hump

This stick insect can fly. It looks weird. Plus, it took a dump on our washing

These lizards hang out everywhere...boring...

Ibis is a chain of budget hotels in Europe. In Australia, the avian version eat out of bins.

Brisbane City Centre

View of Brisbane from some look out or something, probably historic, but I was too busy getting PISSED! (I wasn't...)

xx

A bit too long...

2007-11-29T14:21:00.000+10:00

The month of November over in Australia brings about much hilarity in the form of 'Movember' (it's November, but with a letter 'M'...). What this means is is that the guys get to grow a moustache (it's Movember but without the letters 'ustache') and exude an abnormal amount of confidence with regards to personal appearance. If you had a moustache in september, october, or any of the other months, you would be ridiculed, called 'a 70s pornstar' (they ALL HAD MOUSTACHES REMEMBER...PLEASE...), a pedophile, or assumed were gay. Initially, with regards to the latter example, when I first heard the term 'movember', I assumed it was a chance for the rest of the country to embrace, on a national level a week long version of Sydney's Mardi Gras. I was however, quite wrong, but instead found out it was a chance for all the men in australia to bond and 'become one' in a unified joke of follicle frolicking (ere...try saying that when you're PISSED, yeah lads???).

Unless you're massively extroverted, it's often quite tricky as a guy, to pluck up the confidence to wear and look exactly how you'd like, so you often find yourself just blending in and sticking to firm favourites. If you do make a concerted effort, chances are a tonne other guys are dressed like you because they've visited high street stores too, so it nullifies your attempt.

The brilliance of this exercise in social masculine solidarity, is that the difference in confidence is extremely noticeable at the beginning and end of the months. Early on, it's all new and everyone is talking about moustaches and laughter is all around, kind of like that song by the Troggs, but laughs instead of love. People have sculpted various shapes and styles and there is a cheeky smirk to the face of men walking the streets. If you look at someone with a moustache, chances are, they'll piss themselves laughing and shake their head as if to say 'yeah, I am crazy, maybe if I wasn't on my way to work, we could have a chat, a froth based coffee and laugh about it all'. But as it's nearing december, the joke, unsurprisingly, has quickly worn off. Those that haven't shaved their moustache off and are persevering until the end, look edgy, have some sort of weird, sick-faced smile and are now lacking in confidence. A far cry from the top of the world feeling they felt at the beginning. But I think we all know what the problem with being on top of the world is...there's much further to fall...let's let that sink in, cause that is some deep shit. I could almost be some sort of zen monk if I hadn't have sworn...damn my street-based, gutter vernacular!

*I have no idea who the guy above is, but his facial expression kind of says it all with regards to the correlation between social expectations, desire and length of time of joke*

The point however, is actually to raise awareness for men's health and if you have a moustache for the whole month, you're supposed to get sponsored for it. If you sign up, then you're officially called 'a Mo Bro' (I'm still not 100% certain that this doesn't have anything to do with mardi gras) and any money you raise will go towards battling prostate & testicular cancer and male depression. All good causes, but I think the latter cause has perhaps been heightened by the end of the event feeling people seem to be suffering from. Ah well, at least they're investing now.

I suggested 'Heptember' (it's september with an 'H') to the health authorities over here, but I haven't heard back. I can only assume it's because there's nothing hilariously visual that could be achieved.

Getting up at 5.30 in the morning to watch Liverpool play (and beat Porto 4-1) is still odd.

Gareth

xx

Things I've Learned

2007-11-02T13:05:00.000+10:00

"American Psycho", the "controversial in the 1980's" book by Bret Easton Ellis, is banned in the state of Queensland from being sold at bookshops. You can request the book shop orders it in for you, but you won't find it in his section if you go to a book shop. Same goes for the library too. It won't be there...I'm not sure if this applies to the rest of the country.

Books are also, more expensive in Australia it seems than they are in the UK. But then you're more likely to get knifed by a teenager in the UK, or shot, so it's swings and roundabouts.

The "Liberal" Party Of Australia is actually the party that is akin to the Conservative Party of the UK, in the sense that their politics are right wing. Slightly weird considering the definition of the word 'liberal', but then one entry in the dictionary employs 'catholic' as a definition, so I guess it could be applied in the following contexts.

"John Howard made arrangements for the permanent exclusion of the Aboriginal people from Australian society, by liberally supplying them with more booze than they already have access to"

"Catholic Priests don't like to exclude any child from their sermons, so they liberally molest them all"

Crossing the street when either not at a designated crossing area, or when the light is on green, will get you a $35 dollar on the spot fine from 'the pigs'...I've not got one...

At 3am in Brisbane and other areas of Queensland, if you're not in a bar or club (if you know me well, you will know that I'll never be in a club), "Lock Out" comes into effect. Which means that you have to go home and will be ushered out of the city by the Police. As public transport stops at about 23:00pm, you have to take a taxi. So imagine how awesome standing in line with a load of drunken idiots is, whilst they're trying to vent their frustration because they can't get any more booze. Seriously guys, it's a hell of a lot of fun (try saying that in some type of Seinfeld-esque sarcasm). Especially the level of racist remarks you hear towards taxi drivers that aren't australian...ahhh progression...

I can take wicked pictures of food I've made...this was of a cheese-less pizza...

xx

Lightning Doesn't Strike Twice

2007-10-30T15:18:00.000+10:00

...but a camera does...I mean can, take pictures of lightning...twice, if you're good...and quick...and know how to use a camera...even though I only took one picture of some lightning...once...

It's still very stormy in the evenings here at the moment, so I've been sitting on the veranda watching the skies open (figuratively). I took this picture the other night. I don't want to compare myself to David Bailey, but I do like to eat food and drink water and sleep to stay alive like he's famous for doing, but that's just me.

If you look closely, want to believe it enough, or are just looking for answers that might explain why we're here and give us hope, kind of like when people think they see the face of jesus on a piece of kleenex they've just used to de-grease some food, (after all, the first syllable of jesus does rhyme with the word "grease"...coincidence???), or the "devils face" was in the smoke bellowing from the World Trade Centre, then take a look at the clouds in the photo I took. I think you can quite clearly see the face of a very unhappy skeleton. Which leads me to this only one possible, irrefutable conclusion...The dead are about to rise up and bring the apocalypse. Sorry to break it to you like this guys, but this is a clear cut sign if I ever I did see one. It also goes to show that signs are doing their jobs, because if you don't see a sign, something bad happens, and this usually means the end of the world, which unfortunately for us, has happened quite lot in 'recent memory'. It gets quite exasperating don't you think...I mean, when on earth will the beginning of the end of the world just stop?!

'End Of The World' is actually an anagram of 'Dethroned Wolf'. Make of it what you will...but in Greek Mythology, sorry...Greek Fact, Lycaon (who was the first King of Arcadia) was actually punished by Zeus for serving him human flesh. So Zeus, a tad on the non-chuffed side, turned Lycaon into a 'Wolf'. Zeus, was not only King of the Gods, but also the God of Sky & Thunder, whose symbol was represented in the form of a Lightning bolt...what caused the skeleton face to appear! Lightning. Who would traditionally sit on a throne? A King. What was Lycaon? A King, who was turned into a wolf thus 'dethroning' him. Conclusion, a 'Dethroned Wolf', which is, as was stated, an anagram for the 'End Of The World'. However, there are a few more signs to consider...

When decoding signs (thankfully the various governing bodies throughout the world concerned with Traffic rules and regulations don't operate in this manner) you often look for a clue or a metaphorical key, that you can 'unlock' the hidden message with. Hold onto your hats guys, because shit just got real. In this instance, the hidden message is the face of a skeleton looking non-plussed (no, it's 100% definitely not a chance cloud formation back lit by the lightning, don't even think that guys yeah!??). What are we looking for? A key!...maybe, a SKELETON KEY...0k...let's unpack this for a second. What do skeleton keys unlock? EVERYTHING!

To sum up. This photo represents a sign that will soon 'unlock' the mysteries of the world, but unfortunately, because it's also the end of the world, we might not get chance to learn the reasoning behind our existence, which I think, is perhaps why the skeletons face is non-plussed. Also it's Halloween tomorrow and skeletons are a familiar (skin-less) face at this pagan celebration of sweets and tricks, so something might present itself to us then perhaps? If none of the above does happen, then we can just put it down to a test, you know, like the Dinosaurs.

Anyway, apart from the storms and the imminent apocalypse, the weather has been mainly over 30 degrees this past week, which even for my mediterranean skin type, is proving quite tricky to adjust to at the moment. Plus, because Brisbane has a sub-tropical climate, it's dead humid, so sweating has become a favourite past-time of many a Queenslander and now, me. I'll leave you with this to ponder on though...have you ever heard of a sweating skeleton? No, because the phrase 'dry as a bone' exists. And something that survives time, means fact. Thus fact divided by survival of time equals non sweating skeleton face in a cloud that wasn't caused by lightning. Phew...I'm glad we cleared that up.

xx

Nice To Meat You...wah wah wah

2007-10-25T20:48:00.000+10:00

Last night I went to see Dan Mathews promote his new book 'Committed' at a bookstore in the West End of Brisbane called 'Avid Books'. Dan Mathews is Senior Vice President of Peta and talked about how long he's been into vegetarianism and animal rights and the escapades he got up to whilst pursuing this cause. One being put into a mental hospital after being arrested in France.

As well as being an entertaining book reading, it reinforced to me why I'm vegetarian and after it had finished, myself and Nina, feeling quite pekish and in need of some dinner, went to, what has become one of my favourite little cafes over here, a place called 'The Forest Cafe', to prove to the world exactly how 'Committed' we are, by eating food that doesn't contain animals. If the revolution starts in the kitchen, then I'm like a white Martin Luther-King on a gap year, meeting up with Nelson Mandela, hi-fiving each other then turning to swear at a picture of George Bush, whilst Che Guevara is standing opposite a McDonalds crossing his arms, shaking his head and simply uttering in an unimpressed tone the soon to become battle cry, 'No way'...but in Spanish.

They do incredible tempeh burgers and tofu salad, plus you can order Coopers Green there too, which is completely rad (more about Coopers in a bit). Anyway, the sticking point about the place is that you have to listen to a white guy with dreads playing bongos, whilst a girl whose name is probably 'Pangea' or 'Yeast' or something like that, pretends she's singing in some form of ad-lib free for all Sanskrit.

It's great that we're all rooting for the same cause as it were, but I guess I missed the bit where compassion towards animals means that you think not washing is awesome. The thing is, this is the most common stereotype of Vegetarians and Vegans, where in reality, I don't think this is the case nowadays. For instance, all of my friends that are Vegetarian or Vegan aren't hippies...Regardless, I think if people saw Dan Mathews, a good looking, well groomed chap, they'd surely not believe that he could possibly have had this diet for almost 3 decades. Plus he's about 6ft 5 or something...who knew vegans could be tall! (I think Steve knew they could be, but Steve is always being smug about these type of things...bloody Steve).

Anyway, the 'commercial plague' * that is christmas is being promoted here just as early as it his back home in the UK and apart from the obvious of not being with my family this holiday season, I'm also going to be missing my customary Tofurky. Although in reality, the thought of a roast dinner in temperatures that I'm expecting to reach over 30 degrees, isn't actually that appealing. However, like I discovered when I was over here in May, Australia is home to probably the best bottled beer I've ever tasted. It's called Coopers and it's brewed to the same strict standards as all the decent european ones. No preservatives, no filtering through fish guts, just completely awesome booze. So that will definitely be going into my holiday hamper. Another thunderstorm has just started here and it's peeing it down and there's thunder and lightning and all that (it's vaguely comforting, in that it reminds me of home), but I'm still contemplating nipping to the shop at the end of the road to get some.

*I reckon white guy with dreads would be my friend if I told him 'that's what I thought christmas was' but would then probably suggest we form a gang called 'The Rebellion Brothers' and use interpretive dance as an assault weapon, that will 'make people think yeah!'...I won't tell him...

I left this post for half an hour, braved the elements and got a free Coopers glass with my purchase...WOW...

On a side note. The new 'Band Of Horses' album 'Cease To Begin' is piggin amazing!
The first line of the first song 'Is There A Ghost' says 'I could sleep, I could sleeeeeeeeeeeep', which is what I intend on doing now. Night night...

xx

Logic Studio

2007-10-12T11:26:00.000+10:00

I bought this yesterday. It's about £50 cheaper over here than in the UK which is wicked. My days are now devoted to reading the various manuals as I'm not massively familiar with Logic as I've always used Pro Tools in the past for work. I'm glad I finally made the jump and am now in the little geeky Logic clique. This will enable me to get on with work over here, so that's ultimately nice.

I must point out that my days have also been interspersed with watching Heroes Season 2 and Arrested Development again on the balcony in the sun. You've got to have goals, no matter how small. Speaking of the opposite of small (BIG), mosquitoes love me for some reason and I've been ripped to pieces and have big bites all over me. My ankle and legs look like...erm...look like...something funny a comedian would say that has something to do with 'bites' 'spots','red bumps' and 'my wife', but linked together to form a joke. Oh actually here's one...*to the audience* "I see that guy in Brisbane got bitten by a tonne of mosquitoes the other day. Yeah, yeah...he did, he did. His skin went all yellow. I think it's MALARIOUS...I know, I know, reminds me of my wife after falling in a bath of saffron...waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah"

xx

Something clever & witty about storms...and being calm...

2007-10-10T12:05:00.000+10:00

I wrote this first line a few times because I wasn't sure how to begin the beginning of this first post. The fact I've not deleted it and I'm still writing suggests I've opted for for the more 'narrated' approach, an almost casual inner monologue that is no longer a 'silent word companion' to myself, but one that I can now share with people reading this...either that or I'm masquerading as a wannabe journalist that just "can't understand why Pitchfork won't accept my submissions".

I moved to Brisbane, Australia on the 27/09/07 and subsequently came down with one of the worst flu's I've had in recent memory (the line 'recent memory' I feel gives the impression that we're dealing with a diary of some kind written by an explorer whose days have become months have become years. I'm going with a nautical themed explorer, due to the amount of sea I've had to cross to get here. Admittedly it was pre-determined and I hopped on a plane as opposed to a boat, but regardless of this, hopefully I'll be able to relate it all back to 'water' and 'river', like the photo above shows evidence of, at some point later in the post...I realise I've crossed as much land, but that doesn't really work with the imagery of 'aqua based stuff').

Back to the flu. I'm pretty much over it now and my body clock has been able to correct itself to Eastern Standard Time so I'm now functioning more normally. The one plus side of not being able to sleep until 6 in the morning meant that I was able to get up at 4.30 on the 4th October to watch Liverpool play some of the worst football I've seen them play in 'recent memory' and subsequently lose 0-1 to Marseille. Actually, why was that a good thing...(that's rhetorical).

Brisbane is a lovely city. It's pretty small, so it's a great change after having spent 8 years in London (beep beep, mind the gap, can you spare 5p, how did you not know she was a man). Whereas the River Thames 'divides' London, the Brisbane River 'connects' the city. I think there is a metaphor loosely based around how friendly the cities are that I could use, but instead I'll just opt for the phrase 'you do the maths'...not actual maths though.

There is a ferry called the City Cat that you can catch and get dropped off at various points. We all know how buses or public transport in general works don't we yeah? Well imagine a water based version of a bus, or a water based version of a plane, whichever works for you, but imagine people getting on, paying money, then getting off at the stop they so desire. I gave a woman $2 (about 80p UK money) the other day because she didn't have change for the ferry and the guy wouldn't accept her $50 note and was about to make her leave the ferry. She said I was 'an angel', I said 'don't worry about it, although I must point out that angels are without genetalia so if you're implying I'm some sort of eunuch, then that's the last time I'm giving you $2'. She laughed, we laughed, probably for a little bit too long if truth be told, so I went and stood at the front of the ferry at the very tip of the boat and pondered this whilst not laughing. But instead listening to the album 'Enter' by 'Russian Circles' and pretended for a second that maybe I was an angel, but then remembered I was an atheist, so I imagined the word 'SCIENCE' flashing in front of my eyes just because.

Anyway, there have been storm warnings these past few days, but nothing massive. To me it just seems like heavy rain. It certainly can't be compared to the storms that my brother and the
Strom's have endured on the east coast of the US these past few years. There has been some pretty cool lightning though, especially last night. (I didn't take this photo by the way).

So that's my first 2 weeks pretty much. A bit uneventful due to the flu, but I have grown a sweet beard which has been exciting I guess. Plus I did see Pelican play live the other day, who were amazing as always.

Before I forget, this diary is called 'Dead Scenes' because I'm documenting events that have happened, so subsequently don't exist anymore other than in memory, although I realise it sounds a little macabre. I also realise that this is just a standard practice of documentation and that it's actually pretty tricky to document events that haven't happend so everything is naturally going to be in the past as it were. Also, it's in black because apparently, a black background is more environmentally sound on a page than a white one...something to do with kilowatt hours. Speaking of which, the average lightning bolt contains 250 kilowatt hours. So that's 1000 just in that photo above from the other night. What this means? I have no idea...what we can learn from it? Again, nothing much other than I had to use google to find this out and the link and information about black backgrounds.

xx